I Want You
by JavaJunkie
Summary: Pg13-R(ish) because of language..um it is a songfic...and well read it. thanks R
1. I Want You

Untitled JavaJunkie December 7 2002 Disclamer- I dont own Gilmore Girls nor do I own the song used (It's by Bob Dylan). Authors Note- Uh...hi....... oh um this takes place not long after ep.1 of se.3  
  
The guilty undertaker sighs,  
  
The lonesome organ grinder cries,  
  
The silver saxophones say I should refuse you. "Jess, she's not like us, get over it" a voice stated over the phone. It was a friend from New York. Jess had needed someone to talk to and his old New York crowd were the only ones he could think of. Jess grumbled they told him that every time he mentioned her.  
  
The cracked bells and washed-out horns  
  
Blow into my face with scorn, It took only one mere glance her way and anyone around looked ready to attack Jess. He figurred they'd make a big festival out of it. But none the less his eyes unintentionally stared at her. And everytime he did anyone around seemed to send off 'go away' vibes. He couldnt help but laugh and get pissed off all at once. But it's not that way,  
  
I wasn't born to lose you.  
  
I want you, I want you,  
  
I want you so bad,  
  
Honey, I want you. He blammed her, partially. Blammed her for kissing him, letting him live things he told himself would never happen. And then running away, back to Dean and the expectations of everyone else. How could she do that. It would have been so much easier if she wouldnt have kissed him, een though he wanted it so much. He wanted her in firmiliar ways and ways he doubted existed, untill her.  
  
The drunken politician leaps  
  
Upon the street where mothers weep  
  
And the saviors who are fast asleep,  
  
They wait for you. Everyone had waited for her to come back. Dean had waited he had been smiley and happy and wasnt mad she hadnt wrote. But, Jess he wasnt the waiting type apparently, because his mouth was attached to some bimbos mouth. And that hurt worse then if Dean would have greeted her by messing around with Paris in the gazeo *ok I know sick thought*.  
  
And I wait for them to interrupt  
  
Me drinkin' from my broken cup  
  
And ask me to  
  
Open up the gate for you.  
  
I want you, I want you,  
  
I want you so bad,  
  
Honey, I want you. Jess starred at her she was walking not far behind him he swung the door to the diner open and as always everyone looked, damn that bell. Rory was a mere few steps behind. He didnt know wether to stand and wait for her to go in or to just let it close and she could open it by herself. He chose just to wait a moment untill she caught up he walked in shoving the door a bit so it would stay open long wnough for him to come in after him. He didnt miss the softy mumbled thank you.  
  
Now all my fathers, they've gone down  
  
True love they've been without it.  
  
But all their daughters put me down  
  
'Cause I don't think about it. Like many people, Jess didnt need,nor believe in, love. For every 'real' couple with real love, Jess saw, there were thousands of people making due with one night stands and what not. And while most men Jess had known when growwing up maybe 2 had true love. The rest lived without it. Hell, some of 'em didnt want in and some of them figured it was a myth created by card companies. And most of the girls Jess had been with agreed that the relationship was merely based on the physical attributes, however after theyd 'been together' they were talking about love and comitment and getting pissed off that Jess never considered things like that, they werent in his plan. Promises came a dime a dozen and Jess wasnt in the mood to go collecting dimes.  
  
Well, I return to the Queen of Spades  
  
And talk with my chambermaid.  
  
She knows that I'm not afraid  
  
To look at her.  
  
She is good to me  
  
And there's nothing she doesn't see.  
  
She knows where I'd like to be  
  
But it doesn't matter. Jess' mouth quickly crushed against Shane in an act of strait lust, rocks were for 'love' and what they sharred damn sure wasnt love. Shane would grin and give a sultry look everytime Jess came by. She liked being oggoled. However she also tended to be impatient, and Jess had went to her for one reason, to get Rory out of his mind. So stares lasted but a moment and there they were mouths connected, hands roamming. Luckily Shane knew that he wanted nothing more then physical things with her, however when ever he starred at the brunette (aka Rory) she couldnt help but whine and attempt to suduce Jess all at one time, craving his attention and mad that he would stare at Rory and not give his undivided attention to her.  
  
I want you, I want you,  
  
I want you so bad,  
  
Honey, I want you.  
  
Now your dancing child with his Chinese suit,  
  
He spoke to me, I took his flute.  
  
"Hey wheres your little..." Dean asked Jess with a grin. And stepping toward him. "Bag Boy back the fuck off" "Scarred" "Not a chance" "I mean I wouldnt wanna keep you from 'anything'" "At least I can get it" "Fuck you" "Not my type, besides shouldnt you be making braclets and trying to think of a way to get more then just chaste little kisses" "At least I can get em" "So can I" Jess stated before walking away leaing a furious Dean to brood.  
  
No, I wasn't very cute to him,  
  
Was I?  
  
But I did it, though, because he lied  
  
Because he took you for a ride  
  
And because time was on his side  
  
  
  
"Why'd you tell him youd kissed me" Rory yelled, upset, as she approached jess who was standing on the bridge. "Didnt tell him anything" Jess starring at the water. "He said you said we kissed" "You need a more reliable source" "He's the most reliable person I know" "Yeah well ya' need to expand your horizons" "What did you say then" "Nothin" "He just dreamt it up" "Guess so" "Jess" "Rory" "Tell me what you said" "Why" "Cause we're friends" Jess let out a sarcastc laugh "Jess" "We've been through this" Rory mumbled and stared pleadingly. "He was actin like a jerk gettin up in my face and so we said some stuff and then I said that I figured he had other things to be doing like trying to think of ways to get somethin more then what're doing..and I mean come on ya know thats gotta take up some time..." "More then what" "Just kissing Rory, andyways he says at least he can get kissed and I said 'So can I' " "You said that" "Rory, he assumed I was talking about you" "You werent" "Not the point, he's not very trusting, shameful" Jess in a fake ashamed voice. "Bye" Rory said turning around and starting to walk away. Jess quickly grabbed her hand, standing infront of her bending his mouth to her ear and mumbled "You kissed me" before walking away. "You kissed back"Rory yelled.  
  
And because I . . .  
  
I want you, I want you,  
  
I want you so bad,  
  
Honey, I want you.  
  
Jess turned around grinning and walked the few steps back to her his lips brushing across hers lightly, her hands quickly moved to his head pulling hs mouth back to hers. "We're even" se mumbled. And their mouths found eachothers again. 


	2. Tell Me It Isnt True

I Want You JavaJunkie Dec 28 2002 Disclamer- Um.. GilmoreGirls isnt mine... The song is Tell Me It Isnt True By Bob Dylan (yeah, again)  
  
I have heard rumors all over town, They say that you're planning to put me down. All I would like you to do, Is tell me that it isn't true.  
  
"Did you see that new boy in town...Adam something.." Babbette asked. "He's very attractive nice butt" Patty stated dreamily. "But guess what, I saw him and Rory..." Babette stopped when she saw Jess standing beside them. She went to speak he just turned around and left. He and Rory had been together since the first month of senior year and had lived together, in sepearate rooms for 2 years. They were into,currently, because Lorelai had commanded their presence, she'd be revealing something tonight. So he headed to Lorelai's house, to see Rory, he was sure shed be there to ask her if it were true.  
  
They say that you've been seen with some other man, That he's tall, dark and handsome, and you're holding his hand. Darlin', I'm a-countin' on you, Tell me that it isn't true.  
  
Rory answered the door after a brieft knock from Jess. "Hey" she said sweetly yet nervous, he looked upset, even a bit angry. "Wanna come in" she asked pulling the door open wide. "Grab you coat" Jess stated before shoving his hands in his pockets and walking down the steps. She hurried and followed him out, closing the door in the process. They walked silently near the trees by the bridge but he stopped before they got to it. "I heard a rumor" Jess turning to look at Rory. "Okay..thats not exactly uncommon" Rory before biting her lip curiously. "It was about you" "Oh" Rory suprised. "You and some guy..Adam" "What about us" "You know him" "Yeah"  
  
To know that some other man is holdin' you tight, It hurts me all over, it doesn't seem right.  
  
Jess' minded reeled with thoughts of her and a mans face he couldnt see, he didnt need to see it, didnt want to see it. The thoughts sicened him. This person who he loved, who he cared about so completely, wrapped in the arms of someone else.  
  
All of those awful things that I have heard, I don't want to believe them, all I want is your word. So darlin', you better come through, Tell me that it isn't true.  
  
"So you guys are" Jess "What" Rory defensively.  
  
"Dammit Rory are you and he..together" He prayed, begged silently for her to laugh it off say no say they were merely friends.  
  
All of those awful things that I have heard, I don't want to believe them, all I want is your word. So darlin', I'm countin' on you, Tell me that it isn't true.  
  
"Jess, I..." "Oh God" Jess feeling sick. "It isnt...." "Rory I havent touched you, I watched you sit so pure and pristen and I..." "You.." "It dosent matter, this isnt about me...but, we're together have been for what 3 years and..." "What" "I guess they were right what goes around comes around. I was this friend of yours came to town with a bad attitude and tried to make you want me then you kiss me and then finally we get together. And now some new guy comes into town, ...did you kiss him first..like you did me..." Jess walked away he couldnt stand to hear her admitt it, he had to move on. She could have the apartment, everything theyd bought. He just had to go. 


	3. Love Sick

Love Sick JavaJunkie January 12 2003-Sunday Disclamer- I dont own Gilmore Girls, or the song. (The songs Love Sick by Bob Dylan). Authors Note- Okay I'm just a bit obsessed with Bob Dylan's music so thats why this story is based on his songs. I was reading lyrics and it was like Wow this could work. And I read some other lyrics found ones that inspired me and put the songs in order of the events of a relationship. And now I'm writing a plot to the music. So now that your already half asleep on with this sick little plot.....  
  
  
  
I'm walking through streets that are dead Walking, walking with you in my head My feet are so tired, my brain is so wired And the clouds are weeping  
  
Jess walked through the park, it was dark, it was quiet. The park only made him angrier, this was the park Rory, who he broke up with 8 months ago, had came to when she missed her moms graduation. Everything was covered in rain. And here he was, week old stubble coverring his face, stomping around the park at night in the rain. Dark and rain he didnt even notice. He'd been walking for hours his feet hurt but he wasnt willing to stop. He felt his mind reeling thoughts of her. Pulling his thoughts from Rory he looked up and growled "Fuck it's raining"  
  
Did I hear someone tell a lie? Did I hear someone's distant cry? I spoke like a child; you destroyed me with a smile While I was sleeping  
  
"Jess I...I um..." Rory stamered. Back when they had only been together for a year. "Rory whats wrong" Jess nervously, was this the "I met someone else" or the "I think we should be friends" speech. The back of his fingers brushed against the side of her face nudging her to look at him. She looked away from him, but, he only moved to stand infront of her. "C'mon Rory" "I love you" she said starring at him. He stood there shocked almost certain he'd had a heart attack. She looked nervous and just as she was about to pull herself from his grasp he kissed her whispering "I love you" against her lips over and over again. But now 4 years since they had got together and a year after their break up. He realized all that 'love' was merely some dream that he had been awake in. And now he was back in the real world.  
  
I'm sick of love but I'm in the thick of it This kind of love I'm so sick of it  
  
Despite the fact he broke up with her, he was so in love with her. He was caught in molasses and was in over his head. He hated it.  
  
I see, I see lovers in the meadow I see, I see silhouettes in the window I watch them 'til they're gone and they leave me hanging on To a shadow  
  
Jess glarred out his window. He had gotten home at 5 in the morning from his walk and had slept till noon. And now he starred. Teenage kids blushing and flirting at the entrace to the movie theatre. Couples picnicing in the park, grinning and leaning into the others touch. The people in the hotel across the street they practically clung to eachother their sihlouettes showing through the curtain. They swayed out of site and he just groaned the moment where he could pretend that was them (Rory and Himself) was gone.  
  
I'm sick of love; I hear the clock tick This kind of love; I'm love sick  
  
He cursed the sound of the clock, it was surely going to slow. He was waiting, but, for what he wasnt exactly sure about the specifics.  
  
Sometimes the silence can be like the thunder Sometimes I wanna take to the road and plunder Could you ever be true? I think of you And I wonder  
  
The silence was buzzing, crackling, taunting. He felt like leaving. Just leaving his clothes, books, his half written novels, everything. Maybe he'd drop by Harvard. Just to see her. Maybe theyd go get some coffee. Try to repair their shattered relationship. Could she ever be true to him? Ever be happy with him? He couldnt help the questions, the curiosity.  
  
I'm sick of love; I wish I'd never met you I'm sick of love; I'm trying to forget you  
  
Standing in only a pair of dark jeans, Jess walked around his apartment. If he could go back in time he couldve just not fucked up THAT bad not have gotten sent to Stars Hallow and never had to meet her. But that wasnt possible so now he needed to forget her. Her eyes, he nervousness, her books, her mind, the way she felt.... He fought the urge to throw a soda glass at the wall. He couldnt give in to the anger.  
  
Just don't know what to do I'd give anything to Be with you  
  
Finally falling back onto the couch his face in his hands. He was so confused. Torn between wanting her and wanting to hate her. He finally admitted to himself he'd do basically anything to be with her.  
  
  
  
  
  
*Okay I know the molasses thing sounded southern (I have no clue how I'm sounding southern but anyways) and the part wherew he's pacing in only jeans, I know it wasnt necessary but it looked so good in my mind ...well reviews are nice ..... 


	4. If You See Her, Say Hello

If You See Her Java Junkie Disclamer *Alert* You probally wont believe this but I dont own Gilmore Girls or this song. The songs If You See Her, Say Hello by Bob Dylan. *Wow something new and different.* Authors note- You can probally tell these chapters are kinda spur of the moment. This story has only one more chapter to it (excluding this one). I hope you've enjoyed the ride cause the trips almost over.  
  
  
  
If you see her, say hello, she might be in Tangier She left here last early spring, is livin' there, I hear Say for me that I'm all right though things get kind of slow She might think that I've forgotten her, don't tell her it isn't so.  
  
Jess stepped into the dinner. It looked the same, but only at face value. He didnt see the L.G. hearts L.D. that Lorelai had wrote behind the counter one day when Luke wasnt looking. He didnt see that Luke had saw it and carved it into the magic marker covered wood. Cause ya never know if magic marker will fade. He didnt see the picture of himself (Jess) that Luke had in his wallet. Luke saw Jess. Starred at him. He knew it was Jess and yet at the same time wasnt so sure. He looked older the jeans were darker and not as baggy as Jess use to wear. Black shirt heavy black boots. He looked kinda sarcastic, jaded. He hadnt shaved in a week. "Hey Luke" Jess said sitting on a stool. "Hey, Jess what're you doing here" Luke. "I wasnt exactly expecting ballons but hey a little confetti woulda been nice" "You need money" "I'm not my mom, I dont need an allowance" "Howd you.....nevermind I dont wanna know" "Probally right" "So.." "I know why am I here, Uh..visiting" "Oh" "She left school last spring" "Left" "Got a job offer" "Really" "Yeah" "Doing" "Journalist" "Good" Jess smiled a bit...for her. "Yeah" "If you see her, say hello..for me" "Anything else, what do I say if she asks about you" "Tell her I'm doing okay, But, lifes a little slow right now" "Really" "Yeah, writers block" "Oh"  
  
We had a falling-out, like lovers often will And to think of how she left that night, it still brings me a chill And though our separation, it pierced me to the heart She still lives inside of me, we've never been apart.  
  
"I need Coffee" Lorelai said slinging herself into the building and onto a stool. Luke just nodded, he knew once she saw Jess shed need the coffee, and arguing with her about it wasnt a smart thing to do. "Okay, whats wrong..." Lorelai curious as to Lukes willingness. Then she glanced right and saw Jess. "Hi Lorelai" Jess. "Jess, what are you doing here, LUKE what is he doing here" Lorelai. "Visiting" Jess and Luke. "She's not here. But, I am and you and me are going to have a little talk" Lorelai grabbing her coffee and going upstairs "Come on, oh and Luke got any meat cleavers laying around up here" Lorelai called down the stairs. Jess glarred at Luke. "If your not back in 10 minutes I'll go check on you" Luke with a laugh. "Funny" Jess mumbled before climbing the stairs. Jess saw Lorelai sitting on a chair. "Sit down" she stated. He did. "Why did you leave" Lorelai calmly asked. "When" "The last time, ya know the time you left my daughter crying at the door." "Didnt she tell you" "No but you will" "Lorelai it isnt my place" "Jess just tell me what happened" "We got in a fight, it happens all the time" "About" "Her" "And" "Another guy" "WHAT, Rory isnt like that. Dont you dare lie to me" "It isnt a lie Lorelai, it was some guy Adam, it was all over town" "So I went to your house to ask her about it. She looked all upset when I brought it up. And she never said it wasnt true" "So you left her crying on the porch, she left that night she said "Bye" thats it just bye and then left. I didnt see her for 2 years." "I was across the street, I saw the way she left" "You shouldve fixed it" "Wasnt my mistake to fix" "You ran away, she called and told me you had left school, why, didnt you love her, shes very loveable, she took all the critisism for being with you" "Lorelai I love Rory, I mean I did" "You love her" "She was with another guy Loreali, She hurt ME Lorelai all I did was leave If it woulda been me you, Luke the whole town woulda been out there ready to hang me. " "You still love her" "I still love her, but thats not important, not now" Jess standing up leaving. "Jess, I'm sorry" Jess just nodded.  
  
If you get close to her, kiss her once for me I always have respected her for busting out and gettin' free Oh, whatever makes her happy, I won't stand in the way Though the bitter taste still lingers on from the night I tried to make her stay.  
  
Jess spent the night with Luke. But T 5 am he was up and dressed ready to leave, to go home. "Runnin away" Luke asked as he approached Jess. "No, Just leavin" Jess. "Well give me a call sometime, so I know your alive" "Will do" "Call your mom" "Less likely" "Jess...shes your mother" "I'm not 16 anymore, hell, even when I was I didnt call her" "So why're you leavin" "I'm done visiting" "Oh" "Hey" Lorelai stated wide awake as she entered the apartment. "Hey" Jes stated grabbing his bag. "Where ya headed" "Home" "Oh" "Yeah well I'll see ya later...oh and do me a favor" "What" "A favor its where ..." "You know what I meant" "Yeah, kiss Rory for me" Lorelai's instinct was to joke about not kissing Rory the way he would but she saw the way he looked and just nodded and said "I can do that" "I can still see her leaving our apartment after she got back to school, I got there as she was leaving the front door, climbing into a cab. I just stood there 20 feet away, she never even saw me..I had wanted her to stay so damn bad" Jess left after that.  
  
I see a lot of people as I make the rounds And I hear her name here and there as I go from town to town And I've never gotten used to it, I've just learned to turn it off Either I'm too sensitive or else I'm gettin' soft.  
  
2 months from his visit to Stars Hallow, Jess now heard Rory's name alot. She was a news caster. The new girl of the news. He personally had never watched her but Luke had called. And he heard mentions of her from journalist friends and such. He had drove around alot looking for inspiration. Heard advertisments "Watch the news with Lorelai at eleven". It was extremely strange. So he always avoided news programs. He felt like an idiot because of it. A grown man 'afraid' of the news. He quickly realized he was either overly sensitive or just going soft. He didnt like the thought of either.  
  
Sundown, yellow moon, I replay the past I know every scene by heart, they all went by so fast If she's passin' back this way, I'm not that hard to find Tell her she can look me up if she's got the time.  
  
Jess sat in his apartment. Starring out a window at the sky. But not acctually seeing it. Instead he saw her. Their life together. It hadnt lasted very long. He remembered their first anniversary. Their first kiss. Their first fight. Their 22 fight. Every kiss, every fight. Everything. Grabbing the phone he quickly dialed Luke. "Hello" Lorelai groggily answered. "Lorelai" Jess not very suprised. "Uh hey..Jess...Let me get Luke" "No um yeah get him" "Ok..Luke" after a few moments of grumbling Luke got the phone. "What" Luke "How are you" "Uh..fine" "Good and Lorelai" "Fine" "And..." "Jess.what is it" "Do you guys still get time to see Rory" "Just curious" "She's doing good" "Good" "We mentioned your last visit, she asked about you" "Oh" "She asked if youd want to see her" "Yeah well, Tell her if she's ever around my way It's not to hard to find me." "Will do" "And so ya know if she's ever here with nothing to do she can look me up...if she wants to" "I'll do that" "Thanks" "No problem" They both hung up.  
  
"How is he" Lorelai. "Okay.. I think" Luke. "She called today" "Oh" "She said she wants to see him" "Oh" "Stop saying oh" "Oh..kae" "Luke he loves her" "I know that" "She loves him" "Yeah I know, a couple years ago that woulda been a bad thing" "I know" "Lorelai, their adults" "But their OUR adults" "C'mon lets go to bed" 


End file.
